Let us trace a common behavior problem through 12 possible levels in the symptom-forming process:

1. Negative attention-seeking misbehavior

2. Desires attention, approval, affirmation, support

7. Supposes that attention, value, love, affirmation have to come from the outside

8. Assumes that self-attention, self-affirmation, self-worth are not possible or inadequate

11. Ignores and doubts the truth of oneness, completeness, freedom

Al states his case that his beloved wife left him and he is in a terrible crisis. He is willing to give her up because she betrayed him, but not because he does not love her. He loves her but does not trust her. His fantasy that she might return doesn’t fit the facts that divorce is eminent. To keep functioning he tells himself that he must see the difference in facts and fantasy. If she were to return they would have to go to counseling to straighten out the distrust issue.

Thus far in this analysis, Al is in perfect step with his story about himself and the world.

Al is functioning on a very conscious rational basis and thereby is stuck solidly in his story and doesn’t know it. He tells himself that he is still living in the fantasy that she may return and that he needs to stay with the facts. This kind of analysis is a perfect self-diagnosis within his story without seeing the bigger picture. He does not realize that his life before she "betrayed" him is as much a part of the story as his life since that time. He just didn’t feel the pain of it, because he was not ready.

Now he is ready because his pain is too conscious and too great to be able to ignore it. He said that his main goal is to function at work in order to get the recognition that he needs.

I said to Al that such a work goal is also in direct keeping with his story.

If Al makes anything (such as re-union with his wife, getting recognition at work, recovery from his symptoms, or finding a new wife) more primary than awakening from his story and discovering himself, he will have missed his grand opportunity.

However, if he can re-frame his analysis and self-diagnosis, he can see the following:

1. The outer separation and impending divorce is symbolic of his inner split bet ween his ego and his Self.

2. The pain that he is experiencing is from this inner split, which is symbolized outwardly by the separation
3. The betrayal and distrust that he feels toward her for not informing him is due to the fact that he betrayed himself about his inner conflicts, and did not inform himself what his conflict was really about. He still trusts his story and distrusts himself. His love is for the supposed security of his story and not for his Self.
4. Al and his wife made the typical "deal" in their marriage story which says "You make me happy and I will make you happy, maybe" and "You be responsible for my miseries and I will be responsible for yours, maybe." Now that "deal" is off because neither of them kept their part of the bargain. The astonishing thing is that they do not recognize the impossibility of such a deal ever working. (You can’t make anyone else happy or unhappy, only they can do that to and for themselves). To trust such a deal is sure to lead to betrayal and disillusionment.
5. Al and his wife may be disillusioned with each other, but not with their stories yet. Disillusionment regarding another is fundamentally disillusionment with your story. Al has only gone to Step One in the disillusionment process. He is disillusioned with her and maybe with marriage. Step Two would be radical disillusionment, which is disillusionment with your illusions, with your story. Once you take Step Two, you understand yourself and your partner and the relationship can move as it should.
6. Fantasies about a bitter end to the marriage or about reunion are also fundamentally unrecognized fantasies about ending one’s ties to the story and reuniting with one’s True Self.
7. The search for recognition is a built-in part of Al’s life story. The human search for recognition is so unlimited that it can destroy any relationship. There is no way a mere human partner can give another enough recognition to fill the recognition-hunger need. You can’t fill this hunger with food, accomplishments, compliments, success, addictive behavior, sex or material things. Unfulfilled recognition-hunger can also destroy one’s health and peace of mind. Al must re-frame this recognition-desire into his search for Self-discovery. In the Infinite Core of himself there is no lack of wholeness, no lack of presence, no lack of satisfaction, because no lack exists there. He needs to recognize the Self and then he will no longer compulsively be pursuing the impossible goal of other-recognition. Other-recognition is a fleeting, temporary and dissatisfying substitute for Self-Awareness.

In the box below the vibration level of 200 (See Map of Consciousness section) we experience preoccupation with the bad and doubt of the good; between 200 and 540, we experience repression of the Ultimacy of the Good; above 600 we experience the Infinite Good.

Are there degrees of functionality? Certainly. But each person’s "religion" is what holds things together in their story . Each person’s story varies with the vibrational frequency of the person’s consciousness. The lower the vibration the less functional the person is, and the less healthy their religion is. We are all religious (fanatical, insane) within our human story.. That is, we all have some degree of illusion that holds our finite identity together. Some religious outlooks are more functional than others, but all bear the marks of dualism and illusion. . Stories that function between 0 and 200 are entrapping and blatantly symptomatic; stories that function from 200 to 540 are still dualistic but more subtly symptomatic; vibrational energies above 600 are unitive